Moral of the story

Moral of the story #1

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me. And my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: always keep your condoms in your car

Moral of the story #2

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Z-3 series BMW. Finding the keys inside, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive in the shiny BMW, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's car, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and The farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks!

Moral of the story #3

One Stone - This was his Indian name given to him because he had only one testicle. One stone would visit the local bar every evening for a few drinks where ladies who knew him addressed him as One Stone when they saw him. After years and years of this torment One Stone cracked and said, "If anyone calls me One Stone again I will take them upstairs and screw them till they die." The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young girl named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, One Stone."

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her to the room upstairs the bar, and there he made love to her all day, he made love to her all night, he made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that One Stone meant business. Years went by until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after many years away.  Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw  One Stone and hugged him and said, "Good to see you, One Stone."

One Stone grabbed her and took her upstairs where he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, and made love to her all the next night, but One Stone died of exhaustion instead.

The moral of the story? You can't kill two Birds with One Stone.