Speech by Jesse Jackson

Due to the great consternation caused
by the revelation of my act of procreation,
I accept my obligation to give an
explanation to the population for my act of copulation.
I gave in to temptation
for the anticipation of sexual gratification,
that I could not obtain through masturbation,
which resulted in my fornication.
I accepted her invitation, and provided her with excitation,
stimulation, penetration, replication, and liberation.
She provided lubrication (to avoid inflammation) and I wore condoms
to avoid contamination.
She cried for duplication but I insisted upon
termination, in spite of her fascination with variation.
This has caused me
great aggravation, and the agitation and provocation of the media has resulted
in my humiliation, denigration, and degradation.
My wife is considering
castration, which would require my hospitalization. Pray that this matter will
find culmination in my sanctification
and rehabilitation so that my plans for
nomination to my ultimate vocation will not result in
revocation and termination.
I hope this proclamation has provided illumination and verification
and will prohibit further provocation.

Sincerely,

The Rev. Jesse Jackson